Jianhui | Jhender | Ignis

dejected rejected heartbroken alone
left in the doorway forgotten on the beach all alone
why did he leave me why did he ditch me
what makes him think i would be happier alone
but i miss his hand his arm his fingers
i miss simply just talking and being
i don’t really care now i don’t really care anymore
i still want him around

i saw her through the windows walking by down the street
i saw her through tears in my eyes tears she did not see
i saw her in the back of my mind, ten years ago and now
i saw her and i see her still, gently in my heart

November 22nd, 2008 | Category: others | Leave a comment

so frustrated with 2009/2010

November 21st, 2008 | Category: others | Leave a comment

this is somewhere in the singularity that is singapore

November 20th, 2008 | Category: others | Comments (2)

three chocolate cookies, left in a cookie jar
with a lid screwed on so tightly
with a wall as clear as glass.
two chocolate cookies, left in a cookie jar
with the lid still screwed on as tightly
but space left aplenty
one chocolate cookie, left in a cookie jar
with no other to accompany
but only to feel lonely
no chocolate cookies, left in a cookie jar
just crumbs abandoned like pennies
too small to be counted up

November 20th, 2008 | Category: others | Leave a comment

if you’re not in love, stay out of it, stay far far far away from it

yes i know you’ll itch to know what it’s like. it feels like you’re missing out on something, like time is running out. like what in the world is so ugly about your face.

but it’s almost inevitable that you’ll Fall into love. accidentally, intentionally, fatefully. how sad. how tragic.

well try not to.

sometimes it kinda sux too. sometimes its kinda addictive too.

damn viral thing.

oh go ahead, but dont come back crying and saying i didnt warn you.

[sheesh i am really going insane]

November 19th, 2008 | Category: others | Comments (4)

when i pass away,

you must burn for me:

• a nice computer. something decent enough to play games and surf the net
• an internet connection

yeah. then if you’ve got spare cash, get me a ultra large crude oil carrier (i dunno. seems fun. the somalis have one, i want one too), a ferrari, an helicopter, an f1 car (all those life-threatening stuff that seems abit dangerous to operate when alive), a submarine!, i dunno, a rubic cube, xkcd feed,

and Solitaire

=]

November 18th, 2008 | Category: others | Leave a comment

Orson Scott Card has released three books which I haven’t read. As a ex-fanatical fan, I cannot believe I haven’t read them. That’s how far my book-buying/reading spree has left me.

Keeper of Dreams

i do not want to read this book. simply because it is all about Mormon culture. no thanks.

Ender in Exile

Set between Ender’s Game and Speaker of the Dead, this book appears to fill in one of the more exciting timeline positions. However, filler books aren’t necessary good/useful. After all, Ender’s Game held the original idea and was the best. Speaker and subsequent books went off on a tangent, although the character theme was still strong. I only hope that he still remembered what Ender should be like, properly.

War Gifts

another Ender-verse story. not very important sounding, but decent looking.

anyway i want to reread Investment Counselor, which first appeared as a short story in Far Horizons but is now available too in First Meetings. I like Investment Counselor because it narrates the moment where Jane was introduced into the Enderverse as the financial program. It was also the point where Ender first came out of space travel and took up Speaking for the Dead. I always wondered how come I could never find this part again in my books. So it was because I had read it in the other non-Card book. Kinda surprised that I actually managed to read it at that time.

November 15th, 2008 | Tags: Card, Ender | Category: books | Leave a comment

1. is so glad to have my laptop. i think im addicted to the net. i can’t live and be cut off from the world. so what? =p at least im not addicted to gaming (right now).
2. my Foxmarks died for awhile yesterday. it was like my firefox started up without all the bookmarks. so weird. totally. i’ve never seen it like that. at least i think it was a foxmarks problem. the other browsers worked fine. firefox was rather sluggish and odd but still could open websites. although i had to type out full URLs. my bookmark list was empty, my personal bookmark bar was empty, and when i type in URLs there’s zero prompting (the Firefox 3 feature). anyway i’m glad it’s all back today.
3. physics game engines are interesting. dont get tempted right now.
4. money investing is also extremely interesting. im in one of those phases i think, i get piqued by too many things for my own good. there is no time to buy a car, speculate on properties, play Lotro, try out Red Alert 3, write blog code, learn more european languages, archery, retrain my handwriting, and attain ambidexterity, buy stocks, chase F1 cars (do you know that Shanghai F1 is losing money and they are thinking of pulling out? losers), play tennis, play badminton, play squash, go running, buy a dslr, and use it, draw stuff, and play online flash games. and im the one who always wants to die. sheesh. and i got to study for my exams and do the bloody FYP.
5. although it’s the first time i’ve seen an (seeming) suicide attempt by self sacrifice to white tigers. poor tigers. interestingly i wonder how the keepers got them to go back to the dens. i think human flesh wasnt that appetising actually. they smell humans all the time but eat other meat. many kgs of meat a day. not hungry at all. they might well be trying to chase/carry him out of their private paradise. it did put Singapore+zoo on international news for a day. you know, the Crazy Things In The World bit after the Headline News, Internatioal News, Home News,…

November 15th, 2008 | Category: others | Leave a comment

last minute emergency thoughts about grad sch versus working

so what do people think? is it better to do PhD or to work now?

headache

November 13th, 2008 | Category: others | Leave a comment